Why should we Elope?
And the top 10 reasons people run away together.
When you hear the word “elope,” the first picture that pops into your head is probably a spontaneous Vegas fling that both parties have totally forgotten by morning.
Eloping does not have to include a glitzy Elvis though – in fact, the majority of elopements happen as a result of months of deliberation and intentionality.
Here, we’ll dive into the top 10 reasons that two people decide to tie the knot without the standard wedding format.
When my best friend got married, her most common comment throughout the whole wedding was, “I just want to know how he’s/she’s feeling.”
When you’re in a big wedding, it can feel impossible to slow down the whir of the moment, take deep breaths, and soak in the experience with your partner.
Conversations may feel less meaningful or more rushed when there are potentially hundreds of guests waiting on dinner to be served or speeches to start.
Eloping eliminates all of the extra action so that you can focus completely on Your Person and the love you share.
This may be the most common reason couples choose to elope – family is a tough thing and can add much more drama than joy in many cases.
Who can handle sitting next to Uncle Ted’s political rants? How can we keep Cousin Jo away from the punch? How many kids does your dad’s sister have anyway?
Many of people have even lost loved ones and feel just have hard feelings towards those who GET to have their family walk them down the aisle.
The amount of anxiety that family can destroy the immense happiness – that comes with making a commitment to another person
Of course, there is always the possibility of hurting your family’s feelings – but keeping the moment sacred for just you and your person may actually be the healthiest thing to maintain your happy relationship with family members.
Our memories of Christmas morning as children are usually blurry when it comes to the actual gifts we unwrapped or the specific song playing on the radio in the background. But the feeling, that warmth of being together – that never truly fades
When you are deciding on what type of wedding you want, first decide on the feeling you want both you and your partner to have during it. Don’t think about the cake or the candles, the guest list or the buffet line. Just picture that deep down feeling and the adventure you want for the day and make that the top priority.
Eloping automatically shrinks the list of materials because everything is condensed down to moments. Instead of spending money on the food and decorations – a show for others, the focus can be on what you can explore in the area or what experiences you can save up for.
If you’ve seen the movie Bridesmaids, or any of the hundreds of other chick flicks about the perils of wedding planning, you know that the months leading up to a wedding can be very messy (sometimes literally). There is so much that goes into planning that it has become a full-time job.
Even when you’re keeping things small, or convince yourself that you will at the beginning, there are tiny details that emerge throughout the engagement that always come as a surprise.
What color should the tablecloths be? How should we tie together silverware at place settings in a way that is elegant and yet doesn’t take 47 hours to put together by hand?
Skip the drama of the details and concentrate energy on setting the tone of the relationship. It’s not impossible to have fun with the plans, but sometimes it can be a challenge with the stress that accompanies the pressure of decisions, so it’s something to be aware of.
Plus, as an elopement photographer – you get much more than that, you also get a personal guide to help you plan your perfect day.
Pinterest has been the greatest blessing and the greatest curse for any young person with fairy tale wedding dreams. We see these picturesque scenes of a bride dancing in a mile-long veil on the beach while her husband waits several feet ahead of her, arms outstretched… The perfect image, the one every couple wants to frame on their fireplace.
Traditional weddings can be so crunched for time that a set of standard family “Say cheese” shots are all you can get. Limiting the number of people clamoring for a selfie with the bride means you can spend more time (and money) on capturing wedding moments with a photographer.
When you elope to a beautiful destination, you can even extend the photography session to several different days and locations to expand the collection and capture more realistic, candid moments – in the most epic backgrounds.
Not to mention – this isn’t about posing, but about capturing your adventure.
Not everyone is looking for a wedding like Prince William and Kate – Westminster Abbey, news crews, millions of viewers worldwide.
Most elopers tend to be quite the opposite – introverts, just like myself!
Weddings are sometimes seen as a performance, a form of entertainment that is more focused on the guest experience than the couple’s.
When you elope, your opinion is the only one that matters. You don’t have to put on a show. If you cry, you cry. Ugly tears are acceptable, guaranteed.
Why not explore an epic location with a glorious adventure to kick off the rest of your lives?
You aren’t limited to a church, gym, or backyard. The world is literally at your fingertips to enjoy.
Run away to a tropical destination or a mountain town to escape the everyday and try new (or special) things together. What brings people together more than snacking on a brand new kind of food or sweating your butt off to reach a peak at sunrise?
This is your ultimate day and adventure to always remember. Who wouldn’t love to celebrate that special experience over each year..vs. hazy memories of wearing yourself out between handshakes and small talk.
Again, here we are with the idea of cutting the stressful situations to preserve the joy of the wedding moments. Without the pressure of what everyone else is thinking, both of you can feel free to laugh at the officiant’s jokes, mess up the words on your vows, dance down your version of the aisle, whatever that looks like.
Many couples experience this fun at a vow renewal ceremony, and many say they wish they could have felt that relaxed on their actual wedding day.
Since you haven’t poured countless hours and bottles of tears into every single extravagant detail of the wedding event itself, you will be able to let the day happen as it will and be present with the person you love.
Obviously, there is a whole lot of beauty in weddings, and those who spend time and money on the events because it is important to them have a lot to be proud of. But it’s important to weigh the importance of what you buy in relation to the duration of the pleasure it will bring you and your loved one.
Your wedding day is one day out of the thousands you will live, and while it is one of the most memorable, it can definitely be one of the most expensive. Consider what you might fund with the money saved on an extravagant wedding – a vacation (or two!), paying off debt, car payments, and many other expenses that can cause financial stress in your future together.
It’s worth at least a second, third, and fourth thought about what budget you really want to spend the money on and what you actually value for your wedding day.
This brings us back to the main idea at the root of all of these reasons – What is a wedding for, really? It’s an expression of love and commitment. You and Your Person. The rest is society’s expectations, family obligation, childhood wishes, and sometimes unrealistic expectations.
When all of the party favors and decorations are stripped away, a wedding is two people telling the world that they’re in it together for the long run and asking those people if they’ll support them in that journey.
Running away together has become much more of an intimate option and a conscious prioritization of experience over materials, simplicity over elaboration.
Whatever wedding you create for yourselves; may it be full of the richness of the love you share
Freelance Writing: Megan Adams
Research collected:Adventure Instead